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    However it does mean taking on a very strong set of beliefs and a very different culture. Muslim men are very passionate about their beliefs and their traditions and many people will see this as a highly attractive quality. It is expected for there to be a shared belief in a single God, though this will depend again on the personal discretion of the man.

    Depending on how devout the man is, there are also many things to consider practically and there might be some sacrifices that you are not prepared to make. All this should be discussed with your partner before the relationship progresses past a certain point.

    Forget Stereotypes The first thing to do is to drop any preconceived notions you have of Muslims. At the present time Muslims are not getting the best press, and this is of course due to extremism. Recognise that the views of Muslim extremists do not reflect the views of other Muslims, and most Muslims are extremely peace loving men. Mohamed Ali for instance was Muslim, and this is why he opted to be a conscientious objector during the war and subsequently was stripped of his title.

    Approach your dating with Muslim men as you would with any other man — judge him on his own merits and keep an open mind.

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    Muslim Values in a Relationship Most Muslims take dating highly seriously and are looking for straight forward women of substance. Thus you need to expect a serious and lasting relationship and in general to be ready to commit. You will also need to be respectful of the Muslim faith around his family. Again this will depend very much on the Muslim man in question and how strictly he adheres to his faith and what his own personal views are. However as a rule, a Muslim man is forbidden to date other than to find a spouse, so expect relationships to be taken very seriously.

    Another aspect to consider is that if you are to marry a Muslim, he will likely very strongly push for children to be raised in the Muslim faith. While many people are comfortable with their partner having different views, it can sometimes become an issue when it comes to choosing a religion for your children.

    This is something to consider and discuss. Faithfulness Faithfulness is taken very seriously by Muslim men and they will be very strict on women who they perceive as having cheated on them. However it is actually acceptable in Islam for Muslim men to have up to four wives, and obviously to date outside of the marriage in order to find these wives. To many Western women this could be seen as hypocrisy and it is something that many will not be comfortable with.

    Fortunately the majority of modern Muslims living in the West will opt to settle for just one, but again this is something that you will definitely need to discuss before dating you Muslim man.

    Sometimes this will result in the children being sent to Islamic countries possibly not to return. This might sound highly bleak for many Western women and be highly off putting.

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    However although Islam highly stresses the importance of conformity and is generally one of the most devout religions in the world, the extent to which your partner wishes to follow the religion will still come down to the individual — particularly if they were raised in the West.

    A combination of liberal Western views and traditional Muslim beliefs about family could result in a relationship with a man who is highly caring and dedicated. What is important then is that you discuss all these aspects of his beliefs and make sure that you can find some common ground before the relationship progresses too far.
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    She was mesmerized by the beauty of the mosques and spellbound as she heard the daily calls to prayer. Miriam had been raised a Christian, but had turned against God when her mother died. The simplicity and security that Islam seemed to offer appealed to her: She decided to convert and married a Muslim man.

    But within a few years, cracks began to form in her new faith. She felt that she could never be good enough to earn a place in Paradise, and that God did not love her.

    One day Miriam picked up her old Bible, and a few months later, re-embraced her commitment to Christ. But when Miriam told her husband what she had done, he promptly left her and their little girl.

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    Islamic law required it: She was now an apostate. What is shocking is how many of these women come from strong, evangelical backgrounds.

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    Many converts, like Miriam, are brought up by Christian parents, accept Christ, and get involved in church activities. But as they grow older, their commitment fades, or they become disillusioned with Christianity.

    Islam, they think, may offer the answer. Younger women often meet Muslims at college—men who convince them that there is really not much difference between Islam and Christianity.

    When their wives discover the truth that Christianity is not the same as Islam, it is often too late. Any children they have will be raised Muslim-and great pressure is put on wives to convert. Some women marry with the best of intentions: Their husbands are recent Muslim converts to Christianity. The women learn later that they should have put off wedding plans in order to test the strength of this commitment, because all too often, these men convert back to Islam when their families pressure them.

    The sobering truth is that the number of Christian converts to Islam is growing rapidly. Sookhdeo says that when her husband recently spoke at a major Christian conference, he asked the audience how many of them knew someone who had converted to Islam.

    Fifty percent of the audience raised a hand—astonishing! Sookhdeo believes that some 30, Westerners have converted to Islam in the last decade—the majority of them women. Clearly, our churches need to do something about this. In Sunday school classes and youth groups, we need to teach our kids, especially our daughters, about the difference between Islam and Christianity. And we cannot forget the role that Christian education plays here.

    We must remind them of the Apostle Paul's admonition in Second Corinthians that we not be yoked with unbelievers. As more and more Muslims immigrate to Western countries, Christians will likely find themselves mixing with them at work, in the college classroom, and in their neighborhoods. While we should welcome opportunities to develop friendships and share our life and faith, marriage is altogether different.

    If you know young Christians tempted to marry outside the faith, talk to them. And ask your church family for support. We must do all we can to help our children remain faithful to the one true God and His only Son, who alone died for our sins: Reprinted with permission of Prison Fellowship, P. BoxWashington, DC, For more information on the ministry of Chuck Colson and Prison Fellowship visit their website at http:

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